I was watching Jane by Design (yes I am aware this is a totally lame show, but I will continue to watch it anyways) and I'm so jealous of the two main characters friendship. I want a guy best friend who I can be close with and cuddle with. I don't actually need a boyfriend I just need someone to talk to me... I realized I enjoy conversation texting. Some people are functional texters, I am much more a conversationalist. And it sucks that not many people are. It makes me lonely a lot.
I really wish this one boy would like me. (Isn't it great how I just said I don't need a boyfriend yet I care so much if he likes me.) I stress out so much over him and then I hardly talk face to face. I hate myself a lot for this. Yes, I saw him today. But that's about it- saw. I honestly don't know if we talked at all. I'm upset but like what would I have said? I need to learn to talk in person. Especially before college. I hope I get into BYU. Everyone keeps saying "you'll get in don't worry." But I am extremely worried. I'm fearing what will happen next year. I know I am very much a live in the moment type of person but it's already the end of January. This is my senior year and it has flown by. And I feel like I just keep thinking about next year or the next activity. I want to be excited for now and do great things now.
How can I change my attitude? Any suggestions?
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