HateHappy

I know it's wrong to hate people. But there are some people I really cannot stand. They're people who think they are perfect, and I hate them. They're people who are lazy and don't try, I hate them too. They're are people who do mean stuff just to get a rise out of others, I hate them. They're people who don't try at all and yet receive everything, I especially hate them.

I feel like I try really hard to get everything I have. I definitely do not get good grades by doing nothing, I study. A LOT. Even though I always act like I don't. I act like this all comes easily. What crap right? Well I also try to act like I don't put effort into my appearance. I act like it takes 5 minutes to curl my hair in the morning-yeah more like 20. Yet I do it every day because I want to look pretty and perfect. Mostly, I act like I'm happy and independent. Truth is? I'm scared, sad, and lonely. I hate how when I look at my phone majority of the time there is no new messages. Yeah, I have friends but I don't have just that one person to count on anymore.

I'm always going, I'm always busy and I really could use to have someone to just talk to for hours until I feel better. BUT I don't have anyone, so I guess I'm writing here. It's not the same though. A computer just isn't the same as a person.

You know, many people probably think I'm fake. I even said how I hate people who think they're perfect, of course I know I'm not perfect but I try to be. I act like I am sometimes. I bet I'm really hated. Isn't that great to know? I need to get a better attitude, I need to be happier. I should be happy and at brief times I will be. But it never lasts long, I always go back to being my pessimistic self.

I wrote that part of the post earlier and I just came back to it. I'm just such a negative person. I am always in a bad mood. When is this going to end? When am I going to be happy for more than like an hour?

 I'm sick of being upset. I just want to be happy.