To be honest

I don't like being the way I am. I don't like how I have to basically make my life a joke for you to like me. I never feel accepted or liked when I'm just being calm me. I feel forgotten a lot. I think that's why I tend to plan our hang outs a lot. I don't want to be forgotten when plans are made so I make the plans. I know I annoy you guys but if I don't act obnoxious no one pays attention. I never really have anything to say that's worth anything. When I try to be serious about anything it's taken as a joke. Honestly what about me isn't a joke? You make fun of my family. You make fun of my religion. You make fun of me wanted to be an Ob/Gyn. I hate being teased to be honest. I cry a lot when I go home from hanging with you guys because I just am so upset over how much I get teased. I know I do a lot of things to make you laugh but I feel like if I don't make you laugh I'm just forgotten. And what sucks is I'm not even the "funniest". I'm not the best at anything. In fact I'm probably the most hated. I just can't wait to leave and start new. I'm scared but I need a fresh start. I'm glad I'm going so far. I can't wait to leave.