HAPPINESS is a CHOICE

Flashback to July of 2013 and I was kneeling by my bed praying because I felt so alone and had no idea who I was. I had no idea how I was going to survive in a foreign country where I was not myself anymore. I felt so alone. I felt so small. And I felt like I had no one to talk to (well I literally could not speak the same language as the entire country so this may have been a justifiable feeling). Slowly, it got better because learned then that HAPPINESS was a CHOICE. And for many weeks I was not choosing it. I was letting myself be depressed and feel lost. But choosing happiness was one of the greatest lessons I learned on my mission. 

And now, 6 months of being home I seemed to have forgotten this lesson once again. I find myself getting upset over small things. I feel alone and that I have no one to talk to. I feel lost because I have no idea where I am going in life. And I am letting myself choose sadness. I thought the hardest adjustment I'd ever had to make in my life was getting used to those cold Filipino bucket showers but I was wrong. The adjustment I have had to make over the past 6 months of being home has been much larger. And I'm still not done. I am not yet perfect. But after all the tears, I know, HAPPINESS is a CHOICE. And it is one that I need to consciously make daily.