What a week. It started out terrible. It was by far my worst week at college. I was missing my family a lot. I was getting behind in my classes and I had two tests that I was not ready for. And I just couldn't handle it all. Monday and Tuesday I was a wreck and crying a lot. It was just bad. But after changing things around my week has gotten significantly better. My roommate Naomi and the other girls in my hall all decorated my room and wrote me really nice notes to cheer me up. Misa brought me candy. Everyone was just super nice. And I really needed that. But like I said- things are better. A lot better. Today I did a 5K- the Zombie Run. There were like legit obstacles to get through and people dressed up as Zombies trying to scare you. It was pretty interesting. Afterwards I went shopping. It was so nice to go shopping- it's been so long since I have. I got TWO orange things! ORANGE. I am so picky with orange. I think it is a good fall color. Tonight I think we are going to a Ski Lift ride which I am excited for. I have to give a talk in church tomorrow- that I am NOT looking forward to. But at least I'm getting it out of the way. I think this next following week is going to be a nice easy week. Or I'm hoping too. And it's Halloween next week. I don't know what to be- if you have any great ideas you should tell me :) Kay-thanks-bye
OH and Brit did the race and drove us to the mall. She is super awesome. I love her :)
I have a lot to blog about. It's been rough but I can feel things are going to get better. But I am busy and have a test tomorrow so I can't tell you all tonight. But I will. I promise.
"You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you."
I want to do that. I want to be so selfless and be able to serve others so greatly. I want to change someones life. I don't know how I'll do that. I don't know when I'll do that. But at some point I'm doing to do something, for someone, something they can never do back. I don't want to be above them, or have them always feel like they are indebted to me, but I want to truly help someone. Maybe a mission will give me that opportunity. Maybe I'll find it another way. But I just came across that quote and I love it and there are my thoughts. Have a good weekend :)
So I am slightly obsessed with this song. I have listened to it on replay for days now. Naomi and Joanna want to kill me because I play it so often. But it's just super good. And there is one part in the song where the guys voice gets like high? Yeah that part is amazing. So go ahead and listen :) and become obsessed like me. What's funny is that I have listened to this song for a while, like since last winter, but just now am I becoming obsessed. And it's like super popular on iTunes. Well thats all I have to say. Have a good weekend :)
Missionary: Someone who leaves their family for two years so that others can be with theirs for Eternity.
(listen as you read)
I'm at that age where my closest guy friends are preparing to leave for a mission. And I am so excited for them. BEYOND excited. But when I really think about it I'm a little sad. Some of my best friends are going to be leaving for 2 years. And in those 2 years they are going to change so much, for the better yes, but still they won't be the same boys that I know them as now. A mission changes a boy into a man and it is really amazing to see. You meet these people that come to your ward and they are mature and respectful men who love the Gospel of Christ, when a year ago they only had thoughts about girls and football and video games. I love missionaries and all that they do. But it's just crazy how much a mission can change a person. The Spirit has such an influence over them because they spend their entire day for God, serving God and doing everything they are prompted and asked to do. I can't fathom how a boy, my age or a little older, is able to go and do anything they are asked to do without complaint and often do things without being asked. And don't even get my started on their testimonies. Like seriously, a missionaries testimony is the purest and more sure thing. When a man is out serving for 2 years and spends his whole time doing what God desires of him he sure learns a thing or two about the Gospel. There is nothing in this world I love to see more than to see a man using his Priesthood power. A mission is one of the most important things a man can do to uphold his Priesthood calling. I admire missionaries and everything they do for others.
Now notice I've been talking about Elder Missionaries. This is in no way meaning that a mission doesn't change a girl. Guarantee it does. But I often think when a girl is preparing for a mission she is much more mature to start out, than a boy is. Sister Missionaries are the sweetest people you will meet. They know the Gospel and every little fact about it. I think they are more compassionate than anyone else in the world. The spirit in a Sister Missionary is bright. That's really the only way I can think to describe it. They are able to relate and help others in ways men are unable to and it is truly a blessing that Sisters are able to serve.
As many of you probably know, the missionary age has been changed for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Men are now able to go as young as 18 and women as young as 19. It is going to be interesting to see how this affects the youth of the church in the next coming years. How many more girls will start planning on a mission at a younger age. How many men will have to mature and prepare throughout high school instead of using the transition year between high school and college. It's going to be different. It's already different here at BYU. People are changing their entire plans. Girls have had plans set for years but now they are changing them- because a mission is that important.
I am going to serve God and be a full time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have known I was going to do this for years but now the option of going early has been in my thoughts. I am praying about it every morning and night. I am reading my Patriarchal Blessing and really trying to figure things out. On paper it makes sense for me to go after this year. With my plans of medical school it would be smarter to go on a mission after I turn 19 in April. And I have been planning to go on a mission before this announcement but still, I wonder if I am ready. Like I had said, when I think of missionaries I think of mature men and women devoting their entire life to God. They are selfless and caring and servants to God. I can't wait to become one but still, I wonder, am I going to ever be good enough? Will I ever know the scriptures as well as the missionaries that I have met know them? Will I have a strong enough testimony to serve perfectly? Will I always know when to follow a prompting from God? At this point I do not feel ready. I do not feel I have the strength it takes to be a missionary. And while I want to leave as soon as possible and serve God I know I am not ready as of now. That being said, I obviously cannot leave right now. I am only 18 and 6 months and 4 days old. In another 6 months I am going to be finishing up my freshmen year of college here at BYU. And maybe by then I will feel ready. Maybe by then I will have started or even put in papers for a mission. I have a lot of growing up to do and a lot of learning to gain before I will feel ready. Whether it takes me 6 months or a year or 3 years to become ready I don't know. But I will serve a mission when I am ready and when I know it is the right time. And I know God will have prepared me for it. I know once I am a missionary I will be prepared and truly be God's servant. Therefore, there is really only one thing left to say on this topic and that is: I hope they call me on a mission, When I have grown a foot or two. I hope by then I will be ready to teach and preach and work as missionaries do. I hope that I can share the gospel with those who want to know the truth. And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth.
Ha I'm in class right now. I hate this thursday night class. It's super boring. Its a health career exploration class. In theory it'd be a great help to me- that is if I wasn't in NV last year. I have seen so many different careers in the health field already and I know what I like and dislike. Therefore, this class is pointless to me. BUT it is easy. I just have to show up. And it gives me an hour to just play on the computer and relax and not feel bad about wasting time. Because I am in a class I can't actually do other homework and pay attention to what I'm doing so legit the only thing I can do (besides pay attention to the speaker ha) is to play on the computer. Today the speaker is a dentist. I hate teeth. Therefore this is pointless. But I am here, and I clicked in so I have the points for the day. The grade for this class is basically all attendance. Which is good and bad. Yeah well, sorry for boring you, but I am bored. I'll go back to pinterest.
I'm honestly just quite confused with this whole thing. When I was thinking of BYU I was thinking of all the creepy RM's who just want to get married. But honestly- I haven't really talked to any RM's at all. Which is good considering I'm planning for a mission. However, I do see a lot of cute pre-mission boys. And boyyyy they are attractive. Like seriously- why are Mormon boys so much more attractive than anyone else? Well, anyhow, there is one boy I have been keeping my eye on. We are friends but I wouldn't mind becoming more that's for sure. He is attractive but also super nice and funny. He is super athletic too which is an amazing plus. Then there are some other boys in my ward and that I just see around a lot that are attractive. Oh man, there is one guy in my ward that is wow. I literally can't help but look at him and wonder like how the heck is he SO attractive. But seriously, that one boy that I am crushing on right now that I just mentioned- I just cannot figure out what to do to drop hints. I mean it's a little intimidating because I consider him out of my league, I don't know if he really is or not but I feel like he is. Which makes me nervous to do anything about my crush. But I love that we have actually become friends. I was worried we were just going to be class mates but I think we have gotten to the friendship point. Now I just over analyze everything we talk about. Hahahaha, well sorry for my rambling but I have a meeting in 30 minutes and I am trying to waste time. I was going to work on an essay but I realized I left all my stuff I need to write it down in my room. I know that you all just LOVED reading about my thoughts about the boys here :)
Just like every other Mormon girl in the world my life has changed this weekend. I can now serve a mission like SOON. At 19. Instead of 21. I have been planning to serve a mission at 21 but now that I can sooner, like wow. I am going to be a missionary. And I can't wait. But I have a lot to do before then. I have so much to learn and growing up to do. I am looking forward to the future and it's going to be interesting to see how things work out in the next year. I hope you are looking forward to see what happens as well.
It's October Third. And it's a Wednesday. Do people not understand that you HAVE to wear pink today? It's like a double reference to Mean Girls. I had a test today. I did pretty well. I wish I knew what to blog about here. Someone needs to tell me something to blog about. I need ideas. And free time. I should be doing homework.